Guest Post: The Blessing of Grief Support Group

What follows is a reflection by CtK member Heidi Madson, about her need for and participation in CtK's Grief Support Group. The next 10-week group will begin meeting on Tuesday, February 16th. To sign up for the group, or for more information, please contact Pastor Grant in the CtK church office, at 587-4131.

In mid November of 2011, my Mum was rushed to hospital complaining of stomach pains. She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer, and died six weeks later on December 19, 2011.

The following April in 2012, my Mother-in-law Barb fell, and broke her femur. The next day, Barb was diagnosed with cancer that had spread throughout her body.  After a 15 week battle, Barb died on August 22, 2012.

Three weeks later, On September 25, 2012, four days before Barb's memorial service, I got a phone call from England informing me my Dad had just passed away. Craig and I attended Barb's memorial service, then flew straight to England to plan the third funeral in less than nine months for our beloved family members.

Since then, we have lost another close relative of mine in Canada, and experienced a suicide in a property of ours.  Just when we thought we could come up for air, on the 13th of May of 2013, I suffered from a hemorrhagic stroke on the right side of my brain and was airlifted to Billings.

As you can now see, over that three and a half years I experienced many aspects of death, and grief, including the feeling like I had lost part of myself to my stroke.

When I found out about a grief support group being offered by Pastor Grant, you would have thought I would jump at the opportunity. At first I didn't. I was scared. Scared of having to relive all the pain and heartache. BUT I also knew in my heart that I desperately needed help. And I needed a support group and guidance to do that.

 I was right!!!!

To say that I am glad I joined the grief support group is probably the understatement of the year. I had NO idea how desperately I needed it until I got there.

Over the next nine weeks, under the gentle and kind guidance of Pastor Grant, and with the unconditional support of others there, I was able to understand and comprehend the journey and steps of grief and grieving, a lesson that I didn't even know I needed.

Through this journey, I came to understand that I had placed some areas of my grief on hold in order to cope with the overwhelming events, including more loss of other family members. I also discovered that I was indeed grieving for the person I used to be before my stroke. Grieving for the things I could do before, things that I struggle to do now.

God made us all different. And how we grieve individually is also different. The journey of grief is a very individual and unique experience for everyone, but by going to this support group, I had the opportunity to be able to get the help and support I so desperately needed in a safe and loving place, surrounded by people who understood and were there to support me. I have also made close friends!

I now get up every morning, and although I miss my loved ones terribly, the pain is less sharp and I am better able to honour their memory by remembering the good times, and not focusing on the sad ones.

The College Girl's Guide to: Bible Study - Guest Post by MSU student Molly Wright

Gathering with a few other Christians each week, or every other week, has been an important part of my life for years. Reading the Bible with others helps me know them, and helps me hear God's word in ways I might miss on my own. Having a small group of mutual support can make all the difference - joys are multiplied, and burdens are divided. It's my hope that every participant in the community of faith that is Christ the King Lutheran Church would know the fun and challenge of discipleship with a small group.

Back in January I asked Molly, a first-year student at MSU, to write an article for the monthly CtK newsletter about her Bible Study/small group experience.

            The College Girl’s Guide to: Bible Study

            To say that college is overwhelming would be an understatement.

            Before coming to MSU, I thought I had it all figured out. I had no fears about tackling schoolwork, making new friends, or getting involved with every club on campus. But boy, was I wrong. It’s pretty scary to go from a class of 300 kids to a school of 15,000 undergrads. You feel as if you have the word “freshman” stamped on your forehead, and you have no idea how to handle this unfamiliar territory.

            Feeling disconnected and lost, I turned to my mom for help. (It’s true... She really does know best.) She told me to try attending Christ the King, where Lindean, the former pastor of my home congregation at Bethlehem Lutheran Church, and her husband led worship. The warmth, energy, and inviting atmosphere of the church was immediately apparent. I felt like I was home.

            Soon after, we arranged to meet Wednesday nights for a small group bible study at International Coffee, a small coffee shop right next to campus. I had reservations about going. What if I don’t know enough about the Bible? What if I say something that sounds dumb, or I disagree with someone else? I don’t even know Annie and Pastor Lindean that well... Will I be comfortable speaking up? Maybe I should just stay home and do homework. But by the end of the first meeting, those thoughts has disappeared. Over a steaming mug of tea, we talked, laughed, prayed, and explored God’s word. I was already looking forward to next week’s meeting, and ventured home feeling a bit better inside knowing that I had found somewhere I could fit in.

            Being part of a small group within the church, especially a Bible study, is so incredibly rewarding. Sharing thoughts, emotions, and ideas with others allows us to open up in ways we don’t normally do in casual conversation. And, exploring the different stories in the Bible and how they relate to our lives reminds us of God’s unfailing love for us, a comforting thought for a lonely 18 year old. I guarantee you’ll learn something new, or at least have some preconceived notion busted. It happens every time for me.

            Sometimes, we get too caught up in ourselves and our own worries, and lose sight of the bigger picture. Luckily, we have wonderful people in our lives who are there for support, love, and growth. We need to lean on them so that we can all grow stronger in our faith and our friendships with each other. In attending this Bible study, my feelings of loneliness have subsided. They’ve given way to feelings of desire to continue learning and growing in faith, and have left room to develop friendships with women who are as excited about Christ’s love as I am.

            Making time on a busy Wednesday evening is a small sacrifice to pay for the benefits we reap by simply coming together over God’s word. While I still struggle with finding my place on campus, I know I have found my place within the church.

NEW Small Group

A NEW small group of CtK members and friends begins THIS FRIDAY MORNING, May 31st, at 7am, and YOU are invited to participate!
The group will gather at Clark's Fork restaurant, at Oak & 19th. The hope is it's early enough that working folks can grab some breakfast (or just coffee or whatever) and join in on the way to work. The group will meet every other Friday, so in the near future, plan to come 5/31, 6/14 and 6/28.
The first topic/book/series has yet to be decided - it'll be up for discussion this week. Plan to be there and throw in your $0.02.
Questions? Contact Pastor Lindean in the church office, 406-587-4131.

New Women's Bible Study

A Bible study/fellowship group for women will begin meeting on Saturday mornings at 7:30am, at Wheat Montana (located at N. 19th Ave & Oak, on Stoneridge), beginning TOMORROW!!
All women are invited to come and participate, no experience necessary! Bring a Bible if you have one and come for conversation, prayer, support, and time in God's word.
Questions? Contact Pastor Lindean in the church office at 587-4131 or by email.