A dark September anniversary

The day began beautifully. It was late summer. The trees had hints of orange and yellow color, waiting to turn vibrant red by end of fall.

I did not suspect what was coming next.

I would fall that day, crippled by the heartbreaking news.

And one day I would stand again, lifted up by the strong arms of our crucified and risen Lord.

September 11th is coming, but that’s not what this blog post is about.

I am talking about the death of my first marriage, which began the third week in September 2001. It is one of two dark September anniversaries in my life.

I wish someone who had attended the wedding on September 1st, 2001 had spoken the truth to me in love.

You see, no one did speak the truth to me in love about my distorted attraction to a person who was not ready to get married. No one spoke to me about the misgivings they had the week prior to the wedding or the night of the wedding rehearsal. No one spoke to me, and my marriage ended three weeks later when Karen told me “she was unsettled.”

It took another thirteen months for the divorce to go through and to be finalized.

I may start asking couples preparing for marriage “May I speak to the members of your wedding party to see if any of them have objections to you two being wed?” Maybe my first wedding would have stopped before it began if Pastor Susan had asked my wedding party the same question. At least three people in the wedding party had their doubts about Karen and me, but kept it to themselves.

St. Paul writes in his first letter to the Corinthians, the thirteenth chapter: “Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.”

Rejoicing in the truth sometimes means speaking the truth in love to a friend.

Will you speak the truth in love to a friend before they make a big mistake?