Guest Post: The Blessing of Grief Support Group

What follows is a reflection by CtK member Heidi Madson, about her need for and participation in CtK's Grief Support Group. The next 10-week group will begin meeting on Tuesday, February 16th. To sign up for the group, or for more information, please contact Pastor Grant in the CtK church office, at 587-4131.

In mid November of 2011, my Mum was rushed to hospital complaining of stomach pains. She was diagnosed with bile duct cancer, and died six weeks later on December 19, 2011.

The following April in 2012, my Mother-in-law Barb fell, and broke her femur. The next day, Barb was diagnosed with cancer that had spread throughout her body.  After a 15 week battle, Barb died on August 22, 2012.

Three weeks later, On September 25, 2012, four days before Barb's memorial service, I got a phone call from England informing me my Dad had just passed away. Craig and I attended Barb's memorial service, then flew straight to England to plan the third funeral in less than nine months for our beloved family members.

Since then, we have lost another close relative of mine in Canada, and experienced a suicide in a property of ours.  Just when we thought we could come up for air, on the 13th of May of 2013, I suffered from a hemorrhagic stroke on the right side of my brain and was airlifted to Billings.

As you can now see, over that three and a half years I experienced many aspects of death, and grief, including the feeling like I had lost part of myself to my stroke.

When I found out about a grief support group being offered by Pastor Grant, you would have thought I would jump at the opportunity. At first I didn't. I was scared. Scared of having to relive all the pain and heartache. BUT I also knew in my heart that I desperately needed help. And I needed a support group and guidance to do that.

 I was right!!!!

To say that I am glad I joined the grief support group is probably the understatement of the year. I had NO idea how desperately I needed it until I got there.

Over the next nine weeks, under the gentle and kind guidance of Pastor Grant, and with the unconditional support of others there, I was able to understand and comprehend the journey and steps of grief and grieving, a lesson that I didn't even know I needed.

Through this journey, I came to understand that I had placed some areas of my grief on hold in order to cope with the overwhelming events, including more loss of other family members. I also discovered that I was indeed grieving for the person I used to be before my stroke. Grieving for the things I could do before, things that I struggle to do now.

God made us all different. And how we grieve individually is also different. The journey of grief is a very individual and unique experience for everyone, but by going to this support group, I had the opportunity to be able to get the help and support I so desperately needed in a safe and loving place, surrounded by people who understood and were there to support me. I have also made close friends!

I now get up every morning, and although I miss my loved ones terribly, the pain is less sharp and I am better able to honour their memory by remembering the good times, and not focusing on the sad ones.