Reflections on Prayer
by Sabbatical Team member, Mariann WittharJohn 15:4-5 and Psalm 46:10
Are you tired of trying harder and doing more in desperate attempts to fix what's not working in your life? Are you facing a time on your faith journey when you have lost hope and feel like giving up? Have you tried every known human strategy to solve stubborn problems you are facing? If so, I invite you to join the rest of the human race. Is it possible that you've been trying to solve a problem that has no "human solution"?
After many years of desperately striving to get my life in order, I'm finally experiencing the truth of God's solution, which I find almost always looks like the opposite of what I expect. Rather than trying harder or doing more (which fit my deeply engrained work ethic), God was inviting me to practice "being still and abiding" in him. This idea sounds wonderful but in our culture, is this even a remote possibility? Living under a neurotic sense of co-dependent responsibility, in addition to the constant distractions of the world around me, I finally had to give up "striving" to get my life in order when I was diagnosed with a serious medical condition. The only option I had was to collapse in a heap and surrender my future into someone else's care.
"Burnout" is a very common (mental, emotional, and spiritual) condition in our society today. It is a diagnosable condition which indicates that something is wrong or out of balance in our lives. It is debilitating in that we, as human beings, are uncomfortable with the idea of giving up control or surrendering the outcome of our lives to someone other than ourselves. But from God's perspective, that is the best place to be. In my exhausted condition, I had no other choice but to give him permission to begin to reveal himself to me, the way he had always intended. In Sunday School, as a little child, I had memorized many Bible verses like, "He is the Vine and we are the branches", or "Be still and know that I am God", etc. Even though I could recite them easily, I had no experiential frame of reference for what God was saying to me personally. That is, until I experienced "burnout". I was finally ready for him to teach me how to "be still" and "abide" in him and how to practice remaining in his presence throughout the complex circumstances of my daily life.
LORD JESUS, continue to reveal yourself to me at deeper and deeper levels, as I practice quieting myself and remembering that you are God and I am not. THANKS BE TO GOD for this wonderful gift of rest.
So what could it look like if we allowed him to be the VINE and we practiced "abiding in him?" In my own life, I had to start by giving up the strange notion that "if I tried hard enough or just did the right thing", I could be my own "savior". What an arrogant thought! As I look back at it now, I see how absurd it was, and yet how subtle the temptation is for all of us to return to the garden and participate with Adam and Eve in the deception that separated them from the real source (the Vine) of their lives. As I confess my sin of trying to "save" myself, I'm becoming convinced that regardless of what I do, or how well I do it, good fruit will be a natural outcome. I no longer have to strive, because he is my Source, I am experiencing his life flowing through me, as the Vine continually gives life to the branches. Thank you, God, for this life-giving revelation and the "experiential knowledge" that Jesus is my Savior!
Would you like to join a group interested in becoming more intentional in learning how to practice entering into his rest, even in the midst of our hectic lives? I am willing to help individuals find useful resources and offer practical insights and suggestions which I have discovered in this exciting adventure of experiencing an organic/living relationship with Jesus where I am able to find rest. If there is interest, I am willing to offer a small group on this topic sometime this fall.
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